


The Perks of Being Uncle

by yu_gin



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M, all end well, haru is very proud of his bf, makoto receve the award for mom of the year, no baby harmed, no litterally, rin and sousuke's attempt to be uncle, shit get real, there's a lot of shit involved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-09
Updated: 2016-01-09
Packaged: 2018-05-12 20:35:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5679826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yu_gin/pseuds/yu_gin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gou asks Rin and Sousuke to babysit her daughter.<br/>They're not prepared for a baby.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Perks of Being Uncle

It was supposed to be a quiet evening. It was supposed to be a nice night with his beloved boyfriend, a delicious dinner for two, a movie that they accurately chose together and – at the end of said night – they would have had sex on his boyfriend's comfortable bed.

His sister had other ideas.

“Come on, Rin! It's only for tonight!”

“I don't want to babysit your daughter! I don't even know how to babysit a baby!”

“Oh, it's not difficult. You raised me.”

Rin shrugged: “For god's sake, I didn't raise you! I'm one years older than you. It's not my fault if you and mister Tight-Ass out there decided to be parents at the bizarre age of twenty-one and twenty-three. But I am a twenty-two years old gay man and I won't spend my Saturday night babysitting my niece.”

Gou looked at him straight in the eyes, chewing his bubble gum and waited until his brother stopped yelling. Then she turned to Sousuke.

“Sousuke, could you please babysit my daughter while I go out with my fiancè?”

Sousuke scrolled his shoulder: “Yeah, sure, have fun.”

She giggled, and kissed the tall grumpy guy on the cheek. “Thanks guys, you are the best! Here you have everything you will need. In the bag there's a block notes with all the instruction. Just feed her and put her to sleep, then you can have all the sex you want.”

“Hey!” Rin protested, but she was already out of the door, running toward his boyfriend's car. Rin sighed and looked at the baby girl in the stroller. The redhead baby looked back at him, chewing his pacifier with her sharp teeth. For a moment he was almost overwhelmed by her cuteness, when he remembered about how her sister dropped her baby at him, ruining his perfect date night.

“What the hell, Sou! It was supposed to be our night!”

Sousuke rolled his eyes: “Come on, Rin. It's only for tonight. We aren't going out so we can keep the baby. Plus, your sister would be able to enjoy a night out with his boyfriend.”

“I'll _kill_ her boyfriend! That Mikoshiba is dead” he yelled, making the little girl laughing.

“Yeah, sure babe. Why don't you take your sister's bag so we can read the notes she left and see what we have to do?”

Rin babbled some other bad things about Mikoshiba, then he rummaged in her sister's bag and picked up the notes.

“What does it say?” asked Sousuke as he bended to read the message.

_'Hi! First of all thank you for babysit Sakura. I really needed a night off. You don't have to do much. At seven you can warm up her milk. Fifty second in the microwaves will be fine. She usually like to be hold while she eat. After that she'll probably want to sleep. You can put her to bed, maybe you can sing her a lullaby. If she poo, the diapers are in the bag. The instructions are in the box (probably). If there are any problem call me, but if you call me for an invalid reason I swear to god I will burn all your swimsuit. Have fun ♥'_

Sousuke smiled: “It doesn't seem hard! See, this is the milk. It's already on the baby-bottle. We put it in the fridge and, at seven o'clock, just before we eat, we put it in the microwaves and we feed her. First step accomplished.”

Rin looked at him, not even a bit amused. “I can't believe we are making this. And for Mikoshiba's child.”

“For _your sister's_ child.”

“Yeah, whatever” he mumbled, kneeling to raise the baby. The little girl giggled with glee when her uncle held her. She smiled at him, trying to reach his teeth.

“See? She recognizes you as her uncle. Isn't she cute?” he asked.

“I guess she- oh, stop mocking me. You are the one who can't resist to my sister's pout.”

“You don't understand, Rin, I can't say 'no' to her” he said.

Rin tried to put the baby down on her stroller: “Let's finish making dinner, otherwise we'll be the ones that won't eat” he said, backing to the kitchen. He took the knife and started cutting the vegetables visibly annoyed. Sousuke noticed it and he came closer, hugging his hips and resting his chin on his head.

“So, will you explain me you suddenly behave like a child?”

Rin sharply turned his head, pointing the knife aggressively against Sousuke: “Why does she always have to win?”

“What do you mean?” he asked, taking the knife from him and carefully putting it down.

“Oh, come on, she has a baby at the awful age of twenty-one with a jerk like Mikoshiba and our mother doesn't even blink. But she keeps calling you 'my friend' Sousuke.”

“Well, technically -”

“Don't even try. You _know_ what I mean” he said, taking the knife back and while he kept cutting the carrots. “And know, as if it wasn't enough, we have to babysit that fucking baby while they go out and maybe they try making another one.”

“Rin! You are too harsh with your sister. She has no fault for your mother's behaviour. Actually, I remember she has always defended you” he said, trying to talk some sense into him.

Rin made a loud ‘tzk’, sceptically, but then he stopped. He bit his lips, without knowing what to reply. Then he turned to his boyfriend: “Maybe you are right.”

“I am, Rin. And while sometimes Gou’s method are not… conventional, she loves you. And it won’t be so difficult to keep this baby for a single evening, right?”

Rin nodded. Sousuke came near him, blending the soup they had cooked together.

“Don’t worry, we’ll still have our special night” kissing him and making him laugh. His hands were already under his shirt when the baby’s cry interrupted them.

“I knew! I knew it was a bad idea” he yelled, escaping from his arms to reach the baby. The little girl was struggling in her stroller, screaming at the top of her little, still powerful, lungs.

“What do we do?”

“Maybe she’s hungry” proposed Rin.

Sousuke looked at the clock. “But Gou said to feed her at seven.”

Rin scrolled his shoulder: “It’s six, an hour won’t make any difference.”

Sousuke sighed, not sure of Rin’s words. They headed to the kitchen to warm some milk, following Gou instruction.

“Wait, are we sure it’s not too hot?” Sousuke asked.

“My sister said fifty second on microwave.”

“Yeah, but how much power do we use? She didn’t say it! What if it’s too hot?”

Rin snorted and opened the baby bottle, using his pinkie to feel the milk. “It’s not too hot. Happy?”

“But your fingers don’t have the same sensitivity of her lips, and hers are particularly delicate.”

Rin stared at him unbelieving: “Do I have to taste it?”

“Just to be sure.”

Rin stared at him, hoping he was joking. He wasn’t. Actually he was dead serious. He brought the bottle at his lips and and the milk seemed fine.

“Maybe I should taste it-” he suggested, but Rin closed the bottle and reached the baby in the other room.

He sitted next to her stroller and tried to put the bottle near her lips, hoping he would eat from it. The baby kept scrolling her head, avoiding it.

“I think she’s not hungy” concluded Sousuke.

“So what’s the matter?” Rin snorted.

Sousuke smelled the baby and stuck up his nose. “I think she need to be changed.”

Rin looked at him, pointing his finger against his chest: “No, no and also no. Don’t even think about it. I refuse to change a diaper. You accepted my sister’s request and you are going to take care of this.”

Sousuke frowned for some seconds, then he took the baby and said:

“Fine.” The little girl stopped screaming, and she kept crying more quietly, while Sousuke – after taking Gou’s bag – aimed for the bathroom at a deliberate pace.

Rin followed soon after, sighing baited.

“I thought you didn’t want to know anything about her” said Sousuke without even turning to him, while he rummaged in the bag.

“She’s still my niece. If something bad happen to her my sister kills you and then she kills me.”

Sousuke found a notes among the diaper:

‘ _If you’re reading this it means that my baby girl need to be changed. First of all, make her lay tums up and take off the dirty diaper. Eliminate it as soon as possible, it smell like death. Second, clean her well with the baby wipe. Don’t you dare not doing it. Third, put her the new diaper. Easy, isn’t it?’_

“Isn’t it?” he mocked him.

“Oh, shut up! How difficult can it be?” Sousuke said. He spread out a blanket on the countertop near the sink and he placed the baby on it. Then he opened the diaper.

Rin saw him turning suddenly.

“All good?”

“Sure” he said, covering his mouth.

“Sou, are you going to puke?”

“Nope.”

Rin sighed. “Let me” he said, moving him over and reaching the baby. He re-opened the diaper but he couldn’t do anything more. “Fuck, the hell-“

“How can such a beauty and delicate little human being produce _that_?”

“I don’t know, but what I know for sure is that we can’t let her like this. We have to change her.”

They tried to reach her.

“Okay, you took the diaper off and throw it away, I clean her and I put the new one on. Deal?”

“Okay, let’s do it! If Mikoshiba can manage to do it every day, we surely can either!” said Sousuke, rolling up his sleeves.

“On the count of three, you pick that thing. One. Two. Three!”

Rin couldn’t say what happened next. He only knew that he was talking with Sousuke and the second later he was bending on the toilet, puking.

He took his cell phone, resigned.

They needed an expert.

 

Makoto couldn’t say when it happened, but first he was watching a movie with his boyfriend and then he was laying on the couch and he couldn’t complain. Haru’s lips were on his, while he could feel his hands under his shirt, unbuttoning his trousers.

“Haru, we should move to the bedroom” he suggested.

Haru answered with his hoarse voice. “We have all night to use the bed.”

Makoto couldn’t resist to Haru’s hoarse voice.

“O-okay” he babbled, undressing his boyfriend.

They were only wearing their underwear when they heard a ring tone.

Makoto tried to stand up but Haru pushed him down on the couch with a hand on his chest.

“Let it ring.”

“But-“

“Makoto!”

“It could be an emergency!”

Haru tried to insist but since it was physically impossible for him to push Makoto down, he took the matter into his own hands. He stood up and reached Makoto’s phone. When he recognized the ID, he answered:

“What do you want?”

Rin’s voice on the other side sounded annoyed: “Well, first of all, I want to speak to Makoto.”

“Makoto is busy right now.”

“Tell him to put his boxer on and to come to us. Tell him it’s an emergency.”

“What kind of emergency?”

“Who is it?” asked Makoto from the couch.

“It’s nothing. Stay there.”

“Rin has an emergency?” asked Makoto.

_Fucking telepathy_ , he thought.

“Rin is an adult man. He can manage on his own.”

Makoto left the couch, walked to Haru and reached his hand out, asking for the phone. Haru tried to protest but Makoto used his mom-stare.

Haru was so _weak_ for Makoto’s mom-stare.

He took the phone and he putted on the ear. Haru kept staring at him while Makoto, wearing nothing but his boxer and with a painful and undeniable erection, talked to Rin with a worried voice.

“Clear. Sure. Okay. Don’t do _anything_. We’re there in fifteen minutes.”

Haru stared at him, protesting silently. When he understood that Makoto wouldn’t have changed his mind, he made him passing him his phone.

“I correct: we’re there in twenty minutes. And it better be a real emergency.”

Haru thought Rin would have _paid_.

 

“Come on, Haru, they are _friends_.”

“Rin is our friend. Yamazaki is his boyfriend” he said annoyed, avoiding his Makoto’s eyes while his boyfriend rang the bell.

“Don’t you think you should drop this feud with Sousuke? It’s been since junior high!”

Haru rolled his eyes and Makoto shocked his head, resigned. They heard some noises coming from the house and some seconds later the door opened. In front of them there was a person with a diving mask.

“Oh, thanks god you’re here! We thought we’d have died!” said the mask.

“R-Rin?” asked Makoto puzzled.

“Come in. Sousuke is in the bathroom.”

When they entered the bathroom, they saw a pitiful scene: Sousuke Yamazaki was spread against the bathroom’s wall – goggles on the eyes and nose clip on the nose – while he tried to catch the diaper on the floor with a pot holder. Meanwhile, a little and screaming Sakura was informing the entire neighbourhood of her disappointment.

Haru turned to Rin to ask for explanation, while Makoto rolled up his sleeves and got close to the baby.

“Tachibana! Be careful!” yelled Sousuke.

Makoto reached the baby and took a baby wipe. After cleaning the little girl, he took a clean diaper from the bag and he put it on. Sakura finally stopped crying. Makoto took her, caressing her head.

“Now you’re finally clean.”

Sousuke stared at him, stunned: “How the hell-”

Makoto turned to them. He wasn’t happy.

“You should be ashamed! Leaving a poor baby like that. I’m not surprised she was screaming that way, poor little thing. And for what? For some smell?”

“S-some smell? Air was unbreathable!”

Makoto stared at them, disappointed.

_Oh no, his mom-stare_ , thought Haru, avoiding his eyes. Makoto’s mom-stare could have had felt guilty a new born kitten, let alone two twenty years old guilty boy.

Rin and Sousuke lowered their eyes. They put off the diving mask and the googles, and Sousuke putt off the pot holder.

“Maybe – and I say, maybe – we overreacted.”

“Maybe” specified Sousuke. 

“Now are you calm?”

The two of them nodded, still feeling guilty.

“Good, now let’s feed this little angel” said, talking his way through the kitchen.

Once alone, Rin noticed Haru’s judgmental stare.

“You would have done the same mistakes.”

“I wouldn’t have left a baby in that state.”

“Just because you are too afraid of Makoto. Plus, how can he be so fucking good with babies? Have you adopted one without telling us.”

“When the twins were younger he used to help his parents. Plus, kids just _love_ him.”

And it was true. When they reached the kitchen they found Makoto with the baby on his arms, while she drank from the baby bottle, gleefully. Makoto’s eyes were kind and peaceful as he was staring her and, watching him, Haru felt his heart clenching.

“Haru, your thoughts are noisy” said Rin.

“Oh, shut up.”

“You are thinking of how perfect he is with a baby on his arms. And when the baby he’ll hold will be yours.”

Haru wanted to answer him, but then he just sighed.

Sousuke stared at the scene, zooming on the way Rin was watching Makoto: it was admiration mixed with tenderness.

“Oh, come on, it can’t be difficult” he snorted. He walked past the other two and reached Makoto in the kitchen. He raised his eyes from the baby to look at him. “C-can I hold her?”

Makoto smiled and he explained him how to hold her and how to hold the baby bottle. The little girl seemed initially upset about the change, but she got used soon of Sousuke’s strong and solid arms and kept drinking her milk.

“See? It’s not difficult” said Sousuke, turning to Rin who was smiling at him, gleefully.

“If only you could smile at her it’d be perfect” said Rin, watching Sousuke’s attempted grin.

“Now that she finished eating, you’ve to get her burped” said Makoto.

“I have _what_?”

“It’s to be sure she doesn’t suffocate with the milk. You make her lay on your shoulder – wait, like this – and then you give her some light bumps, _light for the love of God_ , on her back.”

Sousuke nodded, trying some light bumps on the baby’s back. She made some strange noises and soon after he felt something wet on his shoulder.

He turned to Makoto: “It’s okay like this?”

He read a slightly disgust on the guy’s face: “Oh god, Sousuke, don’t panic.”

“What happened? What did I do?”

“You did nothing, but Sakura-“

Rin busted out laughing: “Oh God, she puked on your shirt! Wait, I take the phone, I have to take a picture.”

Sousuke stiffened with the baby still on his arms until he felt Makoto taking her. He took off his shirt, judging the damage. He showed some disgust but he cleaned the shirt with a paper towel and then he threw it in the  dirty clothes hamper.

“Don’t worry if she threw up” he said. “It means she likes you and she’s comfortable with you.”

Sousuke seemed relieved. “T-thanks. I just- I’ll go wear something clean.”

Once he’d left the kitchen, Haru came near his boyfriend, caressing Sakura’s cheek with his finger.

“She reminds me of Ran when she was little” said Haru, finding himself smiling. “Though Ran didn’t have those teeth.”

“No, surely” he answered, moving her thin hair off her forehead and watching her closing her eyes.

“What you said to Yamazaki-” mentioned Haru, hesitating. 

Makoto turned to him, dead serious. “It was bullshit.”

“Yeah, I thought so” he commented, nodding. From the kitchen they could see Rin and Sousuke chatting, Sousuke scratching his head, awkwardly, Rin smiling at him, amused, patting his shoulder. Then he turned to Makoto: “Do you ever think that, one day, this could be us.”

“As uncles?”

“As fathers.”

Makoto blushed visibly and snapped, hiding his embarrassment from Haru.

“Sometimes. Though here, right now, it’s impossible, one day, maybe…”

“Yeah, one day” he murmured, laying his head on his shoulder and dreaming that that day could be soon.

 

Their tiredness could be read on their eyes, so Rin and Sousuke leaded their friends to the door.

“Thanks for everything” said Rin. “And I feel sorry for having ruined you night. I’ll find a way to return the favour.”

“Don’t worry. The important thing is that now you know what to do, in case this would repeat.”

“Gou should came in less than an hour, I think we can survive till then.”

Sousuke nodded, lowering his gaze. “Yeah, thanks for everything.”

They said goodbye and closed the door, sighing in relieve.

“Gou must never know that we called them” said Rin, pointing his finger against Sousuke, dead serious. “She’ll make fun of me for the rest of our life, saying that two grown up men couldn’t babysit a baby.”

“We’ll learn. We just need some practice” said Sousuke, smiling and scrolling his shoulder.

Rin bit his lips, he came near him and lean a hand on his shoulder. “You know, watching you take care of my niece made me think. You looked so reliable, so protective-”

“R-rin?”

“Your arms looked so strong and solid” he went on, caressing his arm with his hand. “A man I’d like to keep.”

“It’s going to happen what I think will happen?”

“What do you think?”

Sousuke grabbed him and kissed him, shoving him against the door and assaulting his trousers’ belt in a clumsy attempt to undress him as soon as possible.

They moved from the door to the bedroom, leaving a mess of dresses on their way to the room.

“We can make up the night.”

“We definitely can.”

In that moment they heard a desperate cry from the living room.

They stopped, staring at each other and the yelled at the same time:

“You go!”

“It’s _your_ niece. And she threw up on my shirt.”

“Yeah, but you put us in this situation with my sister because you can’t say no to her. Plus, Makoto said she likes you.”

They stared at each other, frowning.

“There’s only a way to decide” he concluded, clenching his fist. 

“Paper, Rock, Scissor-”

 

Damned Paper, Rock, Scissor. Damned Rin. Damned child!

Sousuke thought about the pros of being homosexual, first of all the impossibility of unwanted pregnancy. He know that one day he’d want to have a child and that this would be hold against him, but right know we was very happy to know that there was no way he could find himself with a child without wanting it. Once he got rid of Sakura, obviously.

The girl was sleeping, so he came near the stroller and he tried to put her down. But when he left her on her stroller he stopped to look at her, recognizing in her the same distinctive features of Gou – and Rin – and he thought that maybe one day he would have said goodnight to a different baby and he would have the same features of Rin too, but he’d have called him ‘dad’.

He touched her cheek lightly with the back of his finger, watching her breath slowly and thinking that, after all, the night wasn’t so bad.

**Author's Note:**

> I just love fanfic where babies are involved and young gay men freak out.  
> Plus I'm weak for Mamakoto
> 
> You can read this fanfic in italian here: http://www.efpfanfic.net/viewstory.php?sid=3350778&i=1  
> If you want to talk about gay swimmer who babysit shark babies I'm applepie4 on tumblr
> 
> yu_gin


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